My Current Relationship

Hai and Assalamualaikum, so for today, I would like to share with you guys about the second question of this blogger challenge which is 'Your Current Relationship.' Saya akan sahut cabaran ni untuk jawab soalan dengan details. So, day 2 with a blogger challenge.

Day 2 - My current relationship

To be honest, I am not sure whether I am taken or just single. I had a fight with my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago and I asked for a breakup since he hurt my feelings unintentionally. He did not read my messages on Whatsapp at all and ignored every my calls. I don't know if he intended to do that because of giving up on me. His phone ada masalah and cannot touch the screen at all. He did not search for me or make an effort to contact me.

I messed things up a lot and I am really inconsistent in this relationship which makes things hard for us.  I'll update later. I'm crying so hard right now thinking of things that I can't make it right.

To be continued.

I'm not really sure what to talk about. My friends always said if he really loves me, he'd do anything for me, make efforts on us. I always denied them all. He did not know how to love someone and hard to express his feelings to me. I get his love when I'm mentally stable but when something triggered me, I am doomed. I feel sorry for being like this. I did not ask for this happened. I just could not control my mind.

For now, I just keep writing a diary about me talking to him through a paper. I talked to him everything in a diary even though I know, he won't read it. Dulu - dulu, whenever I talked to him in a paper, I'll let him keep my diaries, to read and understand how I feel to him through sadness, happiness or anger. Now, I just hope that he won't give up on me yet.

I always pray for us every time whenever I think of him. He's always been my favourite, the kindest person I've ever met. My kind of person who I've shown my bad side, my good side, the truest colour of me. He accepted me anyways. Too bad, I've taken us for granted just because I can't control my anger, my sadness. It affected us.

So, for now, waiting is the best thing and praying also. It is hard for me to do since I'm not a very patient person but I'll try my best for him. I'm just gonna change into better for him, for myself. I don't want to lose my favourite person. I'll be losing half of me too.

My diary

I write every feeling I feel throughout the day in my diary since Nov 2018. I have a lot of diaries. This one I write every out in here. I hope Nizam realizes that he matters to me a lot as I still love him so much after rough things have been happened to us because of me. I never choose any guys but you. You'll be forever my boyfriend, my love, my sayang. No one else could change that.

 To conclude, I may be single, but my heart is taken by him forever. I even swore to my heart, after him. There won't be anyone. I hope our love will be last, I won't be married anyone but you. You won't never lose me since I'll be waiting for you forever.

Our very first hiking 💞

You might want to read Blogger Challenge #1.

p/s A few days ago, I gave myself the courage to contact him through his father's phone. I texted his father through WhatsApp and his father replied and let him know to call me. We did talk on the phone and I was crying for missing him too much and he laughed because I was being silly. Even though it took only 2 minutes on the phone but I was glad that my boyfriend and I were okay. All I did was overthinking and feeling he did not want me anymore. I even said to him that I thought he does not want me anymore but he laughed because he could not text me for having a broken phone. So, I'll just wait for him to have a new phone. I miss him so much!