Pray

Hai and Assalamualaikum, I know it's been a while I don't write on the blog and I am sorry for that. I might not be replying to your comments for the last entries I wrote. I am trying my best to reply on by one and I hope you guys won't stop reading my entries. Thank you.

Today, I would like to share with you guys about today. I went to the counseling session as my depression is getting worse. As an introduction, on 2nd September 2019, I got into UiTM Pulau Pinang for the course of Civil Engineering Infrastructure. Things were hard for me since I told my parents about it. To be short, my boyfriend and I were never good until now. I keep blaming myself for whatever is happening between us.

After a few weeks in Degree, I tried to call Hospital Bukit Mertajam about my issue. The issue is I need to go home for an appointment at Hospital Putrajaya on 30th September. So, I went to Hospital Bukit Mertajam as they want me to give a referral letter and book an appointment date for me to check up. When I got there, I got lost because the hospital was so packed with people.

So, I went to the psychiatric section and gave the letter to a nurse. I was so nervous and anxious because I went there alone and only my new friends knew about it. It took like 15 minutes for my turn. The nurse asked questions and I was not taking any medicines because it is out of stock. The nurse consulted with a doctor and they gave me permission to collect the medicines at the pharmacy.

Currently, I am on my medication but still, it got worse. I decided to ask the counseling unit for the psychoeducation since my boyfriend and I was not in the good terms which trigger me a lot. So, my counselor asked me to do some tasks for myself to adapt in order to manage how to control myself not to self-harm and maybe other ways to help me someday.

I am texting my boyfriend about it and I don't know what will he respond since he won't reply to any messages I've sent. I want to make things right. Is there any chance for me to fix my relationship? Right now, I don't know what to write anymore, I am feeling so down. I am sorry everyone.